Twelfth Night

Somewhere in the world right now, it is still the 6th of January. And that means we are still 'in the window' to have celebrated Twelfth Night by talking about Shakespeare's play.

Now, when you do this - then it is auspicious for you the whole rest of the year!

Yay.

So we all made it in here at least. Guarantee not too many others have.

Rather than go from the immediate last article and set out all the necessary details for all of this 'stepping across the Bifrost bridge' an' all...

Let's briefly sidetrack ourselves and talk about why there has not been any decent movie production of Twelfth Night for many many years now.

Critics will argue that Nigel Hawthorne's Malvolio was great, that Richard Briers' Malvolio was great, and certainly, that Alex Guinness's Malvolio was totally great - and what do we have?

Malvolio.

The reason no one has made a decent Twelfth Night since Olivier's version in 1955 (Wikipedia literally does not mention Olivier's production even though it is the best or equal best alongside Clifford Williams' 1966 London stage version, and was made into a film starring Olivier and Vivien Leigh) - is that they cannot handle the female characters, the roles being portrayed.

Cannot.

And this will tell you something about how intellectual, how mature, how literary modern producers are (which they are mostly all not) - and reveal how much of a fraud they all are, and this is especially egregious since all of them went to some kind of 'academic institution.'

It's honestly, really and truly pathetic.

See unless you knew any better, 
you'd think this is Di dressing as a man.
But the UK establishment never let her do that.
This is Princess Di dressing like a butler.
Bastards. Honestly!

But with us here, do they imagine, that simply because they went to a University and are therefore all 'sci-ientists' and virtuous too, that there shall be no cakes and ale?

Listen. If I spun that line without any warning, how many of these morons do you think would even get it?

What if I were to have said 'rotis and thiroo?'

Or 'idiyappam and toddy?'

Innocent, and naive.

And that is not me.

And it better not be you, either.

Because this year, there are a lot of fellas who fancied themselves as anything but innocent and naive - and they are going to get 'taken out' and not in a nice way.

Castles will fall, egos will crumble, and the 'Lord of Misrule' shall have his day.

But, back to the cakes and ale.

Actually, not ale -, Martinis.

Did you know that depending on at what point you threw in the bitters...

Oh, you didn't know there is bitters in a Martini? Well there is.

If you put it into the thing first, all over the ice cubes, then the whole thing has the scent of warm spice and tastes spicy too.

But if you put it in at the end, which is the way most 'experts' tell you, it's completely washed out and is overpowered by the citrus zest completely. Waste of time. 

So, see - 'cakes and ale.' It's what we do.

Isn't that so Olivia?

LOL... Or, more like, giggle: