Agh! No more serious stuff!!
A friend of mine said to me just yesterday - “hey why are all the salespeople (well, actually they were all 'men,' salesmen...) so unethusiastic right now. They seemed to be all 'no' people this week.”
Thinking of my other friend Dr. Pillai from L.A., I opined, “well, the mind is naturally negative. And they have all just fallen back into their default condition.”
“Look I want the million-dollar experience.” He wailed. “If I spend money I want the feeling!”
“You want the feeling?” I said. “If you can trust me, just go to the Verte Green Cafe in the Collonade in Subiaco, and get yourself a syphon infra-red beam coffee made with Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee beans. It'll cost you about $4.50. And it will be the million-dollar experience. The Chinese guy there will blow your mind with the way he makes it and serves it and gets you to sniff the grind and asks for your opinion before he turns on the red glowing light. The RED GLOWING LIGHT...! It's all about the RED GLOWING LIGHT. And asking for your opinion.
I was going to stick up a pic of colourful marzipan here and complain about Robert Parker talking about tasting 'marzipan' in a red wine; the hell he would know marzipan if he fell over it on a dark night in an alleyway in Liechtenstein. Which is where you will experience real marzipan, as it happens. Not that tired, bitter, hard, horrible and largely fake 'confection' passed off everywhere as 'marzipan.' So which 'marzipan' is Parker talking about here? The one that is less than twenty minutes old and hasn't chemically deteriorated yet, and is still warm and soft and not bitter at all, and more or less is only made in a half a dozen obscure places still, around the world anymore? Or some other thing that he, and just about everyone else around – including me for a good long while – thought or thinks is marzipan?
Look, we live in a world of sheer and utter nonsense (and that includes what Parker does) pushed onto a largely yielding and gullible audience and it's all gone too far and that is why service and the feeling is not being located by my friend at the expensive luxury automotive showrooms.
The implied expectation about freedom and choice that is believed to come along with a million dollars is all well and good – and we'd all like to be in that difficult position of actually having a million dollars to spend on any old thing – but the almost endless mire of bad salespeople and illiterate professionals and ignorant 'experts' that also comes along is a serious bane to the modern wealthy elite.
So instead of uploading something largely inaccessible – namely, a picture of real marzipan – and therefore the source of possible disappointment to those who desire the million-dollar experience right away... ...here is a pic of Georges Guétary doing his 'Stairway To Paradise' at The Moulin Rouge. You can easily see the video clip on youtube.
And also, another pic of Kir Royale, that estimable invention of the Canon Felix Kir. If you can't find a cheap Cassis liquor, then get some cardomom seeds, fennel seeds, dried Juniper berries, dried blueberries and boil them all up in a little Demerara sugar water, add a bit of Ribena cordial – and tip a little of that whole concoction into a decent cheap white wine. Zut Alors! You 'av ze best Kir you 'av evairrr 'ad. Leave out whatever you can't readily locate if you like, it'll still work, more or less.
And here's what real girls do for your steps to Paradise...
Old Money women? Plus ca change plus c'est la meme chose, I guess. And that's the way it should be too!
Best,
Calvin J. Bear
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