My Competing New Bond Film

Having now read enough of the leaked latest James Bond screenplay, and having heard that the production is said to be now already $200 million over budget, it is a wonder to me why the producers never seem to have the brainpower to hire an actual, as in, real, writer/s!

Some of what I read is just plain silly.

And so I have decided to do just that - hire some real writers - myself...

Design evokes narrative -

the noir detective-style character, parks his

Challenger SRT Hellcat in a post-industrial

brickyard, gentrified and converted to loft apartments.

The actual Bond screenplay leaks are so extensive and detailed that there is little reason to suspect they are any kind of false trail. No, the storyline is that MI5 and MI6 are merging (this is simply a fact from real life, and it happened around the time Blair decided to push WMD fibs to justify committing to war in Iraq). Personally, my judgement is that the idea that Bond is about to be retired, comes from the author John Pearson, who wrote an ‘official biography’ of Bond, which towards the end assumed an older Bond going to live in Queensland or Sydney, from memory, on a boat. Fair enough, I suppose.

The villain in the movie is no one Ian Fleming ever penned – a character called Heinrich Stockmann (seriously?!). And he’s meant to be the boss of ‘Spectre.’ And Bond just tricks him and shoots him. Some villain.

Anyway I know some real writers and I’m going to ask ‘em to come up with a competing ‘latest’ Bond.

My own design philosophy parameters would be that Fleming adulated Chandler, and that Bond is an English noir tale virtually always set elsewhere to anywhere in Britain, and containing way more American and other culture paraphernalia than you might think.

I know you won’t believe this, but Bond is a young Jesse Ventura-type, if anything, (ex-navy diver/commander) and has a cover job – Universal Exports – not very far different from your common-or-garden pulp detective type story from a Chandler-esque book.

 

Actor James Marsters - cyber-enhanced transhuman
Dr. Milton Fine
(My villain choice)

And it’s 2015. Any real villain is a cyber-enhanced soldier or ex-soldier or upper ranker... Not even fully human, really. More-than-human, but not actually human. I’m thinking Dick Cheney, but then that’ll never make it to the screen, will it?!

So we’ll go for Dr. Milton Fine, aka Brainiac from Superman, instead.