French wine, lingerie, red velvet
curtains.
This is the iconographic image of
elegant sex that we are used to in the modern West.
Sex is, afterall – well at least it
is for the elite in that game - highly formalized and stylized.
I know this because I learned it from a
man I interviewed once who was a key part of Helmut Newton's original
Sydney (Australia)-based commercial photographic studio. This
gentleman – the one I interviewed - spoke of Herr Doktor Markus
Wolf long before too many of the even well-read public had ever
heard of his name. Of course, I would hazard not many recall now what
that particular fellow was all about...
|
Actual Russian Intelligence Officer - Anna Chapman |
I should say too, though, that whilst I
am relaxed in saying that the person that I knew, and that I am
speaking about here, did indeed also show me all the great secrets of
a good Martini - I am slightly troubled by the fact that later on in
his life, I suspected him of either having become, or at least having
become very deeply implicated with, a serial killer...
Marinus (Martin) - for that was his
name - was also a friend of the actor Lee Marvin and they would spend
many summers stalking Black Marlin, I believe it was, from memory.
The both of them were surprisingly fit, or let's say physically
strong, to be more accurate, and good with long-bladed, serrated-back
Marlin knifes,
In one particular discussion about
things of the world, Martin pointed out to me that a hundred years
ago, the finest restaurants served their clientelle
a la francaise
and not, as we are used to now, a la carte
or a la russe (as it
is more correctly termed).
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Slava Zaitsev fashion - no ushanka today |
'A la russe' means
in the Russian style, and that means bringing dishes out in a
sequential manner. Which is a bit like serial monogamy, you could
say...
Laying out a large
table with more or less all the dishes already there to be served
from, to the diners – this is
a la francaise. Such a thing
is all very formal, with liveried attendants standing behind the
guests like soldiers until a toast is made and only then are people
seated and things go on from there. It's meant to inspire awe in
onlookers...
Martin told me
eventually when I asked him directly about the killings, that it
couldn't have been him 'because he loved women too much...' A very
poor excuse, I thought.
But, I say! This
man was urbane – the most urbane I have ever encountered. Almost
theatrical, but not overpoweringly so, so as you would count it
against him; he was, I must say, tres subtle.
So... French wine,
lingerie, red velvet curtains.
But I also think
you can present Russian vodka, Soviet era emblems, and ushankas, and
caviar, as iconographic of a certain kind of decadence and thus of
course also of sex. At the moment I'm not so much concerned about the
social or historic derivation of these symbols as anything remotely
to do with sex, more the current nuances they conjure up.
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Burgundy wine coloured velvet, really... |
You see I want you
all to imagine the launch of some luxury prestige or hot sports car,
with a closed invitation guest list. You know what these things are
like don't you? They are held in rather large rooms, though usually
not big halls as such. There is one wall removed and a modest enough
stage behind a large floor-to-ceiling dark red velvet drape. And
music plays and champagne is served. And right when the music reaches
a certain crescendo, the curtains are pulled back to reveal – the
great vision. And everyone applauds. And drinks more wine.
What lies behind
the closed curtains? Soviet submarines and ICBM's, Bugattis and
Jaguars. And so on. Catherine the Great turns into Mother Russia.
Crotchless knickers from Napoleon's Josephine...? I don't know. But
what's the great American sex icon deriving from power at the apex?
If it's Marilyn Monroe and JFK then it's certainly out of very recent
history, comparatively speaking.
The curtains pulled
open are like a framed window onto something out there. Sometimes we
might be too close to the glass and fog it up with our breath so that
we are unable to see clearly past our noses.
See the fact is,
without the power factor or the sense of it, no one pulls out their
chequebooks.
|
Anna Chapman again |
(P.S. Do we still
use chequebooks?)